Music XIV

Situations I

Well I was around myspace (as usual)
This PT person went all darth vader moment with me
It was funny but hella annoying as well

“With the power of my mind you will give
me your email and not so useful info about you”

Me : (wtf moment)
A Starwars guy…
XD If you want to talk, talk here

He said the messaging thing was slow
I said IM then.
He asked for my number service
I said 91. Nothing more.

He commented on my height…
– Are you really 1,46?
So short…

– And your (age)…you must be younger than that.
Me : Yes. and that is really my age.

– Criticized short people as less inteligent
and having less space for brain in the cranium/skull

Me, thought : [hmm.. according to studies short people
are more likely to have cardiac problems
as other problems. as for the part of those crappy things
short people have more oxygen in their brain
than tall people]

– Ó caralho, és comprometida. Bela merda.
Gajas comprometidas são tão úteis quando uma impressora sem tinta.
[F*ck, you’re commited. Great sh*t.
Commited girls are as useful as a printer with no ink]

Me : Long story and that comment wasn’t necessary.
Thought: At last someone read my f*cking profile –‘
And that comment already shows the type of person he is
And I rather be a inkless but happy printer
Than a useless, criticizing printer…lmao –‘

Flaws

If I may ask…
What are your flaws ?

No one is perfect , that is a start on my p.o.v.
BUT for someone you might just be that.
(One person popped in my thoughts :$)

I consider as my flaws…
Physical :
– My way of walking,
– Those things only one or two persons know
– Bending my back…

Psichological :
– Dependable on others,
– Low self esteem,
– Easily hurt.

I personally had this experience in a app
And I did NOT expect to get the ammount of tags
That I have now and so…
This is the complete opposite of my opinion
On myself but oh well XD

My description :
Popularity: 6 Fans

Headline:
Say you’ll never leave me
’cause I need you so much… (K)

About Me:
– Sensitive && outgoing once in a a while…

– I am straight ;

– A helper not a trouble maker.
I really like to advice and meet people ^^
So, feel free to add, talk or send a message
I do reply and tag back…

– BUT I do NOT send nudes
I have self respect.

– Do not expect me to talk dirty either
I won’t go that low on a app.
I am not that kind of girl
And whoever knows me well knows that (:

– I love to listen to music…
In fact I am sort of addicted to that *-*
Rock, HC and Dance/Nightcore.

– Writing is my main passion
Besides talking/going out with friends.

Who I’d like to meet:
– The One I love ❤ Key.
– The bands I enjoy listening to 🙂
– Oli Sykes
– Nice, understanding people
Or persons that have stuff in common with me.

Note : I only use the app now to talk with people
1. I choose who I talk with.

2. I ignore who I don’t want to talk with
Haha! Simple.

3. Dirty stuff and talking are a NO!
So max I replied was like “naughty”
This guy who said something first
Then he said “you like naughty men”
Me : No, not my type (lmao!)
Of course the person shut up
And my description says it all

4. I met 3 persons in here
That still I talk with them :
– Jordan (2nd bestie)
– Kathy
– Ryan

Main Tag :
– a glimpse of heaven

Mostly Tagged :
– gorgeous [71 persons]
– pretty [67 persons]
– cute [55 persons]

Favorite Tags :
– a true fallen angel
– beautiful insidenout
– charming young lady
– kindcaringthoughtful
– sweetest girl eva
– godess of beauty

Tags I do not like
Can be easily guessed. XD

Weird Tags…
The lick….one…
It was sent by a girl :S x,D
Then the scenequeen…
Alright ! I’m not scene (at all) XD

Here is the list…
-pretty, 2 gorgeous for words,
a true fallen angel, absolutely gorgeous,
adorable, amazingly beautiful, amazingly cute,
and ur eyes are amaz,
aw cuteii, aww really pretty, awww thanx,
beautiful, beautiful eyes,
beautiful eyes hair, beautiful insidenout,

beautifulangeliceyes,
beautifullybeyondit, beautifulrose, bold,
breathtaking beauti, charming young lady ,
cool, cute, cute as hell, cute smile, cuter,
cutie, dammm ma u hottz, ethereal beauty,

fuckable babe, godess of beauty, gorgeous,
gorgeous cutie, gorgeous eyes, gorgeouslikediamondz,
gorgeousverygorgeous, great hairstyle,
happy, happy b day cutie, hot,
icanmakeurbedrock, idkissurlips4hours,

kindcaringthoughtful, kissable lips, likeable,
maddd pretttyyy, maybe we can date,
my angel from heaven, near perfection,
nice pose x, not as much as u r,
outgoing, perfect babeee, perfect figure,

pretty, pretty and awesome, pretty eyes,
pretyyy eyes, quirky, really pretty, scenequeen
scottthomascarlin, serious, sex baby,
sexy, sexy as hell, sexy long hair, so r u cutie,
soo cuteee, stunningly beautiful,
sweet, sweetest girl eva,

thank you darlin, thanks u add me,
thanks u r too, thanx sexii, totally edible
ty gorgeous, ty wish i was a girl,
u like naughty men, u lok hot,
u r so delicious omg, ur really cute girl,
ur sexy as hell girl, very beautiful,
very cute, very cute and pretty,

very lovely honey, very pretty, very sweet,
wana c u naked, wanna text,
want 2 lick ur clit, want u on me bby,
wants u so bad, wats ur number,
whatacutie, whatgreatlipsyouhave,
wow babe ur gorgeous, yumity yum yum yum,

If you really knew me…

13 random things about me :

If you really knew me
You would know that…

1. …I have a explainable and big fear
Of dissapointing and losing people
Specially if they mean a lot to me.

2. …My self esteem falls easily
And drops to the floor
When I see someone who I believe
That might be way prettier and such than me.
My sister is one of those persons for example.

3. …I am easy to hurt, hard to repair.
Pretty much that…
People get surprised
…About how easily I can be hurt.

4. …I do not like violence at all;
I have my reasons. I prefer talking.
But when someone makes me really angry
I might do stuff without thinking…

5. …I think I might be too caring
Towards people
Who don’t care that much about me.

6. …I do not like to have my body exposed
Specially at pools or beach…
I’ld be way happier if I was able
To put all of that behind and over with.
Still taking care of that. (L)

7. …I like to help out people the best I can
When I can relate with the situation
Even if I don’t know the person[s] ;

8. …I have 5 projects :
– 2 proses (one done, another under construction)
(Portuguese)

– 3 poetry projects (one done, two under construction)
(Two in Portuguese, one in English)

…And I asked a good friend of me
To write a sort of biography :$
He agreed to do so 🙂

9. I used to really hate myself.
And had a phase when I hated others.
That is now gone, fortunately!

10. When I get too nervous or hurt
It’s stupid but I can’t avoid crying my eyes out
Or run to the nearest bathroom or isolated place.

11. I’m a girl that when she loves,
She really does. Only One person…
For one heart.
I do not cheat nor flirt.
My heart has already chosen him.
Call it or call me whatever you want…
My beliefs are all over this blog :$ (L)

12. Do not make me laugh
While I’m drinking…
You were warned! Lmao.

13. I am very self conscious of the way I walk
And recently that bend…my back (upper back)
People say that happens because I get shy (what the….)
Oh Lord… :((( But I want to correct both soon !
Because that’s…something I hate…
Not helping and rather humiliating…!

Your turn now…
Took me quite some guts to admit these…
🙂 Take care.

Self Injury II

” She brushes the Compliments away…
While Insults ?
Are carved in her skin “.

Note : I saw this quote from an app
So this girl is the owner of the quote/verse
Not me. Take care ! (L)

Again I needed to rest …
And think before writting
I’m back now and ready to talk at last.

Note to Key :
I’ld like to see a post
From you 😉 (L)

Alright, my experiences with self harm
Began in my 10th grade
But got worse during the 12th
(Last grade of highschool)
Even after it kept on going…
I had some…stuff (mostly events)
That triggered me
Never images.

I was not the girl to call out for attention…
We mostly get called names and such
But not everyone who cuts is for attention!
As a matter of fact I used to cover up my cuts
Out of…Idk I did not wanted to be caught

I admit that sometimes I failed.
Not always the bracelets
Could hide the scars on my wrist
And definately not always the sleeve
Was able to cover up the ones in my arm

A advice : Don’t even , don’t ever start cutting.
It is hell, specially when you do it for relief.
As an exit/way out to certain problems…
Some people even get trapped
and addicted to cutting.

I had some reactions from people out of it
Most told me to stop ;

But the worse was my own mother.
She caught me twice. Once she saw my cuts.
Other time, she saw…I was speachless
And yes I was caught after cutting.
I had no bracelets on and it wasn’t a easy situation

She grabbed me by the arms ;
She was shaking me over and over again.
Asking and screaming “Why…!”
In the same night she threatned
To take me to a psychiatrist.

Music XIII

Some calm songs…
The next music post will have calm songs as well
May this help you and make you feel inspired 🙂

Last one did not allow the copy/incorporate link…
It has a message (L) ,
Although hip hop / rap is honestly not my genre
But it gives me SO much good memories…
So glad to have found it!! :,)

Click to see and hear :
Twista ft Faith Evans – Hope

Tatoos, Piercings and Modifications

Everyone has a diferent opinion on this
I do like certain tattoos in some areas of the body
And personally prefer tattoos with meaning ;

– If I could I would do one tattoo of the symbol “Life”
On my left wrist, a place where harm was made
Even near that spot…plus I have some meanings for it.
More than that… I thought of wings (i’m doubting it now)
And a Key (L) (still with it in my mind (L))

– I do like and support the tattoos
With meaning/message in it.
I do think it is beautiful some, as art.
There are true masterpieces out there! 🙂

Piercings…yeah I like some.
But for instance I don’t imagine getting anything except my ears.
Not into other types of body modification ;

Hair dyes, I like them .
If I could dye my hair any collour,
I would choose a light brown
Otherwise, I’m alright with my natural hair collour
I just dislike my hair length at the moment
But it’ll grow out I guess…

Yet freedom of expression…
It is your life, your choices
As long as you are happy and okay with that
It’s fine by me.
God bless ^^

Music XII

That song is old…
Brings me back to good times.

Suicide – Warning Signs

With searching and knowing too,
– Giving away possessions

– Mentioning death or suicide in any way
(speaking, writing)

– Having destructive behaviors
(for example self harm, bullying others)

– Preparing a will or suicide letter

– Sudden change in behavior

Note : Mental/Health disorders can lead more to suicide
Than people with normal condition….

Self Esteem II

Family was supposed to help isn’t it?
So yesterday night I was already messed up
With those words between me and my sister;
She eventually left and we were to meet again
Besides my grandma
and brother on Sunday are to go to the movies.
I don’t feel excited at all, to be honest.

My mom found me almost crying
She decided to ask me what was wrong
So I explained her…
(She used to be so understanding)

I explained how things aren’t going exactly
Like what I expected…and like they were told.
I said I, more than anything want to furfill my dreams
Which I don’t believe it’ll be here.
She said that besides needing the money

I’ld need somewhere to stay and so,
Permitions, vacations…
So don’t expect to be there in less time than a year

After that I put my head on the pillow
And what I was saving the whole day inside of me got out
She said “do not bring yourself down”
Petted my head and left.