Suicide – Second Chance

Good afternoon everyone,

Warning ! : This particular post may be triggering,
Eventhough that is not my intention, at all.

[…] Sleepiness. A strong effort from the heart— followed by fast and slow heart beatings,
I felt drowsy and I went to sleep right away.

I took an impulsive action, sure to say that it was the worst to take in my life
and I was clearly not acting consciously and with clear thoughts…

I must highlight that.

[…] I woke up, but I was still feeling sleepy,
Coming slowly to conciouness  

It is a true story.
It carries no glamour or whatsoever.

[…] Only after some hours I felt better.
But this history…is a real story and my fate could have been different.
Life gave me a second chance, BUT I could have died!

Then I think :
My family. My friends.
People who stood up for me and love me the way I am.
They aren’t perfect but neither am I.

What I really want to tell you
and wish for you to take as a lesson is this :

” Never take your Life for granted, 
Nor take it too lightly because it can slip away “. 

” Do not hurt yourself. 
You have value and I am sure that you are treasured! “.

How do I know this?
I just know it, at heart.
Negative situations will pass. Taking your life won’t, it is permanent.

It would be a wound for all your loved ones, a permanent one because you are not replacable, ever.

Take this plead to heart.
Listen to it, throughly
And pass it to others,
In hope of letting people know of this harsh truth.

We need to save them.
And I want to save YOU.

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Depression – Let Past Be.

Good afternoon , dearest.

Based on Life´s experience…my own that it gave me,
I decided to write this post.
It is personal but has important lessons to it.

” Clinging to the Past constantly can wreck you.
Holding onto it might be useless at times.
And you can lose time of your life while doing so
Time that could and can be spent on other things
And on meeting other people “.

I do not mean for example when people decide to give a time
Or find their own paths ;
But when holding onto one that no long has anything to offer.

Let past be, is my latest advice.
I have done so as it has no longer anything new to say
Nor has changed , nor has learned.
I do not mean to be harsh
But by saying otherwise during other times, old times (around 4 years ago)
I fooled and deceived myself. I do not wish the same for you, reader.

As someone once said :

« Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice, shame on me »

So, regarding this, my answer was permanent.
Moving on is a reality. Which I already did.
The best we can do is to take these lessons with us
It will make me (and you) stronger.

And I do not wish a bad life to that person.
Quite the opposite, I wish the best to everyone.
But I have the right and already decided that our paths are not to ever cross again.
Because there is absolutely nothing more nor new to say.

We have to let past be…
So we can allow ourselves to heal.
So we can think for a minute, meditate…think…
And be down to earth.

I decided to approach this subject because
Since I have started to think about the present
I have felt the benefits out of it!

PLUS, I have lost quality time of my life due to this.
And neglected myself of finding someone at that time.

I did find someone who I love dearly, until this very day.
Almost two years ago.  (will be at the end of the month)
I came to terms that, it was meant to happen 
And our souls were meant to meet.

As someone dear to me said too…
There is a right time for everything to happen
And everything happens for a reason. 🙂

I am a stronger human being because of this.
And I am grateful for everything, even the worst times!

Why ? 
We cannot appreciate and see the beauty of being happy
Without sadness. It is part. It makes part. It is life’s cycle.

I hope I was able to bring light about this subject
Blessings.

World – Mental Illness POV

Good afternoon!

For this day, I thought about a diferent point of view
And approach on Mental Illness.

It is not easy to have mental illness, nor it is something we choose to have.
Mental Illness, such as chronic illness as well,
Tend to be labeled by people and society
And, still until this very day it is frequent to judge, and talk/write
Unacurate information and statements about these.

It is easy and rather quick to judge when you are not going through the situation.
Everyone’s path and life journey is different.
Each human being is diferent.
And that is what trully is wonderful in life, too!

How boring it would be if we thought the same way,
Dressed the same way and all?

We cannot fully know how someone’s path is until we walk through their shoes
As in, going through one’s similar condition or situation.

We feel diferently, 

We act diferently,

We demonstrate affection, love, kindness, in our own special way.

We suffer diferently and we react diferently through pain.

It is not easy to have mental illness, nor it is something we choose to have.
Sometimes, it just happens or it is triggered by events or people around us.
Often it is not “socially acceptable” to be sick.
As it is not “socially acceptable” anything that is either different or unknown.

People either despise, ignore or fear the unknown.
So I leave another question :
What if that unknown become known and even, familiar?
Would it have an impact or would you act the same way?

I had the first symptoms of my condition in 2007
But I was only diagnosed with depression three years later.
I researched, read because I wanted to know what was happening to me.

To seek knowledge is optional.
To seek help, is needed
Because your Health, your life is precious
And so are the ones around you.

Note: There were triggering events, yes, that I wrote about in the blog
Since 2010.

Nowadays I am not ashamed to say that I had depression
And/or that I have anxiety problems.
No one has to feel shame.
No diagnosis defines people.

People cannot allow a condition or illness to put a limit to their dreams.
Instead, that must be a reason to push forward
And redefine his/her own goals.

I am not depression.
It was a condition, that, as many others can and must be controlled.
It has not have a physical spot where it hurts,
But it is real pain…ache that has a reason.
That reason can be figured out imediately or it can take time.

Again, it takes time, yet I learned that
Instead of feeling sorry for what I went through
Instead of whining about what I do not have
Instead of feeling pity of my old self

I decided to spend that energy
On the Present. Because Present is a gift.
And thanking for what I have.
And dedicating to my former self.


— Carpe Diem,

Seize the day. 

It is valuable to find proper help and support.
Professional help is advised.
And follow your doctor’s instructions.

Our life is a blessing,
We are lucky to wake up each day.

Some, are not as lucky
And if we are alive,
Let’s live with quality and truly live
Not survive!

God bless you all!

Tips to Deal with Anxiety

Good evening dearest…

I usually write during the night or during the afternoon.
Then I either post at the moment or allow Blogger to do its magic.
There is this subject…that I felt unconfortable in the past to talk about.

It is night over here and I chose to write out what I was thinking about
It is a quite personal post.

Anxiety.
Again… Anxiety.

Okay, better this way, with smaller font.
I considered anxiety to be something that held me back for some years.
As a matter of fact, it gave me quite some headaches.

I must admit, I still haven’t fully tamed this
But I am starting to find ways to cope and deal with it.

NOTE : Anxiety does not have to be a monster!
In a normal situation, it is acceptable or «normal» to feel nervous and worried

(To feel alarmed/nervous/insecure is a mechanism of the human being
To be aware of risks, to be grounded and focused to his/her surroundings)

BUT when it affects and disturbs your life, whether socially or psychologically
It is time to react and seek help!

POV :
When I am anxious I tend to think too much and barely function.
With these wrongs… :

«What if…?» , «I should have done/said (usually added with «more») » , 
«I could have done» , «What will happen?»
«It was my fault» , «I was not good enough» , 
«I am not ready for this…» , «I cannot do» …and so on…

Over and over again…

Are few examples I can give out to you.
I found and sorted out some ways to deal with it
And other ways/tips to ease my mind.

When I get TOO anxious, my stomach aches
and I honestly feel like I want to cry.
Other times, eating and sleeping gets affected.
We don’t have to live like this!

So I rushed to seek help and advice…
Oh and found out some ways to deal with this on my own.

What I do…not in any particular order

1. Think about good moments.
Anyone who you deeply love or inspires you greatly.
Someone you held dearly to your heart.

2. Have a lucky charm.
I once went to a store and a black stone caught my attention.
Onix. So I bought it and ever since, I carry it along with me.
In my pocket and near me when I am going to sleep.

3. Light up a candle once in a while.
Stare at the flame, keep an eye on it.
Just sitting and connecting with your «self»
Or even, thanking for the day.

4. I have…conquered . I have…achieved .
I confess I am still slowly adapting to this way of thought
Due to the fact that I had these negative thoughts
And reversed thinking pattern for so many years
That it is hard (NOT IMPOSSIBLE) to change.
It will take time, but I believe! I am trying this !

So the tip on point number 4 is to,
At the end of the day to say or think to yourself :

TODAY , I have conquered… (fill in) . 

TODAY , I have achieved… (fill in).

It does not matter if it was a silly or small achievement.
What matters is that your mind gain focus on that type of thoughts
So that it may feel at peace whether it is at night, before going to bed
Or whenever you need so.

An example : 

TODAY , 
I have conquered my goal of making through the day and learning properly.

TODAY , 
I have achieved what I had planned : to write for this blog.

5. RESCUE Thought.
When I am really, really anxious and I have the chance
I usually go to my bed and just stay there.
And try to breathe. Slowly…

Then , (can be a solution in other cases and combined to 5) 
I think to myself over and over and over again
As many times as needed , this :

« IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT »
« IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT »
« IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT »
« IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT »
« IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT »

NOTE : 
Thoughts are very powerful and can have a strong influence in us.
We have to reverse them, in case they are harmful.

6. Balance and Organize.
I know that something either unknown
Or unexpected is more likely to cause anxiety.
Now and then you can learn to organize your thoughts
Or your projects. That will help you deal with insecurities.

You can organize at a) mind or b) by writing out.
It can be used once in a while as a guideline or resource.

If you know what you have to do or what you will say
(for presentations) you will feel slightly less nervous
By practicing too (you can try in front of a mirror, for instance)
Presentations will become something simple.
Achievement? Your confidence will boost!

7. Write out or Talk out
I used to write my heart out or talk out with someone when I felt anxious.
It helped too… However, now
I am trying by myself to find ways (mentioned above) to cope.

8. Letting it all out
Lastly, if I do feel like I want to cry, I do cry.
If I get nervous to that point, I will…
It is better to become aware of this
Than to let those emotions burst and get out of control.

9. Reading
Reading can prove to be relaxing.
Choose your favorites
Or maybe you can choose to read a diferent type of book
One that you usually don’t read.
Or you can pick Self Improvement or Guidance books.

This was my POV and Tips for the moment.
I shall add new tips from time to time
Feel free to add any suggestions or even contact us, if you would like.

Wishing you all best.

Depression – Meds, recent POV

Good afternoon, everyone.

It has been a while since I last wrote about Depression.
I was quite skeptical on this matter [using meds for Depression]
Truth is, I feared the unknown and the past experience was not pleasant.

I grew impatient for any results or improvements to arrive.
Which did not happen as I was not able to give time to it as well.

Note : If you are reading me, this is only my point of view regarding this
However, the right medicine for me , might not be the right for you and so on.
If you are experiencing depression, besides reading
(Which is one step already!) I advise you to seek professional help
Whether it is from a psychologist or a psychiatrist, Hospital or natural alternatives.

I would also like to add and ask you not to rush things as I did.
We all aim for a solution to our problems. I know.
I have been through it. I been through ups and downs, highs and lows, «hell and back».

But I am here. And so are you.
I have plenty to write and tell right now, at this very moment.

My point of View
[…] I decided to go to my family doctor as I was feeling very anxious
and had trouble sleeping and eating (due to stomache aches, too).

She prescribed me sleeping pills, an antidepressant and some meds for my stomache.
I started taking one antidepressant [……. toLife] it says.
I was already aware some side effects, while others took me for surprise.

OUTCOME :
Over three weeks have passed since I started treatment
The first days and until at least half of the second week I felt ill as in, nausea…
I lost appetite and 5kgs at the time. I continued to have trouble sleeping.
Some even said I was reaching the point of exhaustion.

But I kept on this treatment and held on onto it.
Plus I was still having appointments at a local psychology college
Giving up was and is not an option. Ever.

So I mainly took the decision of finding ways, tools, resources to relax.
To send any traces of anxiety away. I had to learn to wait.
Because I found out that if I was not that anxious,
I was going to be able to eat and sleep properly, with time.

Afterwards, I am still having a bit of trouble with eating
But my goal is to gain the weight again
Besides feeling better in all the other aspects of Life.
I noticed that I have been feeling calm and I am gaining energy again.
It is getting easier to sleep.

I am hoping to be back on track, renewed.
That and all the other steps I took ,
I shall leave them for another post.

Blessings.

Depression – Being Assertive

Good morning !

What is assertiveness?
Assertive is…saying no without saying “no”.
It is standing up, for ourselves and defending our opinions and rights.

As far as I am concerned, being assertive is NOT the same as being rude or agressive.
It takes tact and expertise to know the right occasions / oportunities
To make use of Assertiveness.


“We are not born Being assertive, already. We learn it…”

Remember that you will not be assertive at once.
It requires time!

Why is it important?
Because sometimes we need to stand for our opinions and gain control over our lives ;
We cannot always allow people to take advantage nor use us.
By using Assertiveness you will feel less stress and, therefore, raise your self esteem
Along with point three, you will be able to give out your opinion.

With this technique, we can fight Depression 
and other problems or symptoms such as anxiety, insecurity,
lack of self confidence and poor relationships.
Situations of avoidance and frustration can be diminished as well.


Points to keep in mind : 

+ Body language is important too as it is needed for it to match the atitude.

+ You need to be serious yet pleasant.

+ Focus on what matters and on the problems.

+

  • Use “I” statements. Keep the focus on the problem you’re having, not on accusing or blaming the other person. Example: “I’d like to be able to tell my stories without interruption.” instead of “You’re always interrupting my stories!”
  • Use facts, not judgments. Example: “Your punctuation needs work and your formatting is inconsistent” instead of “This is sloppy work.” or “Did you know that shirt has some spots?” instead of “You’re not going out looking like THAT, are you?”
  • Express ownership of your thoughts, feeling, and opinions. Example: “I get angry when he breaks his promises.” instead of “He makes me angry.” or “I believe the best policy is to…” instead of “The only sensible thing is to …”
  • Make clear, direct, requests. Don’t invite the person to say no. Example: “Will you please … ?” instead of “Would you mind … ?” or “Why don’t you … ?”


Sources : http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/assertive/SR00042

Life´s Advice – Psychotherapy and Tools

Good evening, everyone !

I have been asked, even more than just once if I have knowledge
And/or if I am connected to Psychology.
I shall leave that for other people to evaluate.

But then, when time passes
The answer will be left at open.

I have learnt much while studying during my course
And mostly, thanks to life itself.
It can bring many,many lessons along,
IF we are willing to learn.

It is a long process
And I am going to be completly honest :
There will be times of joy, there will be sadness and frustration.
There will be tears, there will be times of exhaustion
And when you stop and look behind, you will realize
” I have achieved so much, I have changed ! “

It will be worth it and it is.
Psycotherapy was a really valuable tool and taught me many things
And still does. It is helpful because:

A) It boosts your self confidence.

B) Helps you with expressing your feelings towards someone else.
Note : Again, it will take take time .
Maybe you will feel and create empathy towards your psychologist at the first time,
Or later or even with someone else, later on.

C) Psychotherapy is where you can talk about what is troubling you
There, you can about just nothing, anything, everything.
However, if you feel like holding back, maybe you haven’t created that bond
That empathy with the professional yet. It will require time, trust me.
Amongst four professionals I created a strong therapeutical bond with the first and last one.
When that happens you will feel like nothing is too difficult to tell.

It might be difficult to start if you think that that person is a stranger.
Think of it like this ” I AM HERE ONLY TO GET BETTER “
And this one person IS going to HELP 
A special and unique human being : ME (YOU) “

D) Helps your thoughts…
Often, whilst a person is depressed or stressed
He or she may have difficulty in organizing his/her thoughts
And its organization.

Therapy CAN and will help you stablish goals
Then priorities, then time to do so.
As in a “TO DO LIST”

QUESTIONS : 
What do I / Aim for and wish ? 
When can I do ? When will it be?

Note : 
What – Objectives.
When – Stablishes time to accomplish and/or complete those tasks.
(When…) Will it be? – an expression which is clearly set for the future.

Another step :
First we can start off by writing down our personal goals
The ones that come to head and mind at the very start
Then others, and so on…
Afterwards you shall divide everything in two lists

Personal Goals and Professional Goals
And, yet opcional, you can also create another blank paper sheet
By the name of Dreams and Aspirations.
We all deserve so and should dream.
May those be a flame and a MOTIVATION
for you to always, always keep you head high
and have a constant motivation.

My motivation is connected to what I have achieved
Along with waking up alive every morning
Having health and keeping in mind that my work
And/or course will take me somewhere, will be useful
Or even, that I shall gain anything with them.

So, after reading this , what is your motivation?

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God bless*