Life´s Advice – Declutter

Good afternoon everyone ;

As I had posts planned for this month already I left this one for later on
However , today (5/5) I have made a decision
(Not that I am very deorganized, but usually my papers are a mess in my room)

And, since I am going to start having tests and I am also going to start working
Might as well start having everything organized and in order.
It is somewhat related to the post «Less is More».

[…] To be honest I had started some weeks ago this
On and off , I mean.
I study, then arrive by the end of the afternoon home 
and usually write and rest or stay with the family, by now.

After writing out all the useful contacts on my email account
(Health, Courses, Services, Professional and Personal Contacts)
I started to get rid of the papers.

My main motivation is the thought of being able to find everything
Quickly and efectivelly.
Along with this first motivation there is another one :
A bit connected to the first one :

If I am able to find things easily, 
I can save more time for myself and others
And I definately wish to simplify my life on this matter.

I have my course’s lessons in an USB Key
Yet I also have papers, exercises and worksheets from it
I decided that the one’s that I am no longer having class
That have ended, I am going to write out in documents and save them.

I also spared some time to clean the dust in my room
(Well…some neighbours are with their house under repair/maintenance
So dust is very frequent on this building) and get rid of more papers.

It will take time for everything to be completely finished
I still have to organize financial and school papers and other random stuff
But I am confident that sooner or later I will have everything done.
Bottom line is : It will pay off.

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Social – Self Esteem and POV’s

Dearest,

These are troubled times we are experiencing.
Therefore my goal is to help one another, whenever possible.
So, I picked Self Esteem.

There are three ways to see Self Esteem…
1 ) The way we see ourselves.

2 ) The way others see us.

3 ) The way we think that others see us.

Those three views on Self Esteem
Ought to collide with eachother at times.
Our self esteem starts to be formed at an early age.
Our parents are responsible shape that aspect while they are educating us

That shapes The way we see ourselves.

While we grow and watch our colleagues and parents.
Thus, we are facing and seeing The way others see us
(through their actions, sayings and opinions)

Lastly, we can have a third perception on self esteem :
The way we think that others see us,
and this one can be either right or very wrong.
(means that it can be distorted easily)

It is VERY IMPORTANT to take Self Esteem nearly at heart.
Otherwise, growing up with a poor self esteem can be devastating.
Likewise, growing up with a overly high self esteem can be troubling, too.


POV :
I grew up with a poor self esteem, I admit it.
The perception I had of the world and of my future was not bright
When one grows up with a poor self esteem, he or she can tend to isolate
Lose security and value in his or herself.

And all the rest came along (can be read in other posts), as you know.
But those least positive points are not
What I want to teach or bring highlight upon.

The bottom line is to pay attention to these situations
For your loved one’s sake and health!


A bruised self esteem can give place for other problems such as…
– Anxiety
– Lack of Security
– Depression
– Eating Disorders
– For one to become a bully or bullied.
– Other health disorders and mental illness
– Self Injury
– Suicidal thoughts.
– Risk of Suicide.

We have to let our children and teens know the rights and wrongs
Know tolerance, acceptance and other essencial values
Such as sharing, and be aware of causes.

Why ?
Because our children will be adults in the future
They will be the adults of the FUTURE.
And I (as you probably not as well) do not wish that
Our grown ups become sick or imitate our mistakes.
Due to watching us neglecting them…
No, we can not allow that to happen!

Speaking of that…here is a video on the matter.

NOTE : We need to care for our beloveds
Each and every day.
Even if we are too stressed or upset to attend them.
Let him/her know that you are there.

I read a really interesting email some days ago from a friend.
I no longer have it in my inbox, but it was about being there.

It was a beautiful history about a father and a young son.His parents weren’t able to be there for him :His mother and father were working until late to sustain their house and pay their bills.

They could barely see eachother : He was early at schoolAnd his parents would return late from work, By that time the child would be sleepingTo attend another day of school on the following day.

So…his father had an idea.

Late at night when he arrived home from work,

He would make a tiny noose in his son’s bedsheets

and kiss his forehead, every night.

That way, the child would know that his father was there.

Bottom line : 
On this tiny history,
The noose would represent a tiny but meaningful gesture of being there
And a sign of connection between both.

We do not need a lot of words, 
We need (big or small) actions
That come out from the heart, with kindness and love, instead.

POV : 
To heal broken / bruised self esteem
It takes time…specially if you still
do not know what was the cause.
So… I will demonstrate some steps here

(I have been through this journey already 
and still am following some of these steps)

1ST STEP : IDENTIFY
In this cases we have to look back to find the cause
Sometimes, seeking for help can be/is advised.

(For example : 
A psychologist/councelor or hypnotherapy)

We can name it «the root» problem,
Because we are talking about the possible cause or causes
(Can be multiple) that led to self esteem problems.

2ND STEP : RECOGNIZE / TAKE ACTION
Linked with step number one it is really important
And it is a great victory recognizing and be willing to improve
Let no one take that precious victory away from you
You are doing an effort to be a better person.

NOTE : It can be the other way around too…

1ST STEP : RECOGNIZE / TAKE ACTION 

2ND STEP : IDENTIFY

3TH STEP : BE PATIENT.
By rushing everything, we will not be attaining better results
Or quicker results. For an effective treatment to happen changes must occur.
Bad habits must be broken!
Waiting is actually PART of the process!

POV : 
In my therapy I was rushing and negleting
My well being and my goals. It had done me no good.
Due to economical reasons, I have found myself abandoning treatment
Specially when I was maybe needing it the most.

(For more information you can check
Relationships – Expectations)

But it was solved by searching for other solutions/alternatives
Eventually the place where I was receiving treatment
I had no longer to pay, because it was decided to be like so.

What I want to explain with this…
You do not have to live like that.
I know that you are a wonderful human being
And the faster you go seek help
You will for sure feel the benefits, eventually.

4TH STEP : Writing out or Speak it out.
It definately helps a lot. I might post the complete POV of some times of crisis
I will think about it , for the time being.
As far as I concern, I agree on this point to speak out to someone you trust
Specially, a loved one who you feel that you can talk freely, openly
Without thinking if you are bothering or not.

From experience , I speak with my mother.
Difficult times brought us closer and our daughter/mother relationship stronger.
So , out of a difficult situation, I can see and now sense improvement.
Not everything is dark, dim and other similar names .

I am satisfied with this because previously, 
All that I could see was darkness, like a dark cloud in front of me.

That has changed now and that cloud has dissapeared.
I wish from the bottom of my heart that you are able to improve too
And find your path.

NOTE : I do not mind sharing my personal story or my journey.
Reason ? I want to help out the best I can.
I want you to know that you are not alone on this.
I want you to know that there is a light, there is a hope, there is a way.


Life´s Advice – Less is More

Good morning !

Besides these recent quotes/statements…

«Giving up is NOT AN OPTION.» 

«Prepared for the worse,

But always hoping and fighting for the best.»

That I decided to transform into personal statements for my own life
I would to speak about another one :

  «Less is more.» 

It is … to one live with what he/she has got.

To not be greedy or carry jealousy towards another and their possessions.

This can be apliable to almost ANY area of our lives.
Self, Relationships, possessions/belongings….

We can start with belongings.
We tend to spend much money in the latest technologies, brands, jewelry…
As someone once said…and we need to ask ourselves (and others) this:


Do we need that much?
Do you need that much?

What can make us happy, afterall? 
So for today I saved this post for Less is more 
and some POV’s are to be expected.
BELONGINGS

a) Cleaning  
We can start off by separating different types of files.
By month (MM/) or year (YYYY/)
Then, by day (DD/).
You store them in a folder or recycle them,
In case they are no longer needed.

b) Saving 
You can save some files (by using an external disk or USB key) on the computer.
It is also a pratical solution
Since you can easily carry both around in a backpack or suitcase;

c) Choosing
Choose the main files and separate them by categories

Examples : 
Personal, Finances, Work, 
School/Course, Health, 
Extra, Other.

d) Old and New
See if your items are still usable and up to date.
Check if your clothes are still wearable or wore off.
See if you are still going to use them or not.
In case you don’t and if they are in good conditions,
You can give them away to charity or to someone who needs it
So they can give a new use to it.
And you can save room for new, useful items, to take place.

e) Make up 
You can label your make up with the date you opened it
So you know when you started to use and know when it expires.

(Actually this was originally Vanessa’s idea.
Visit her at : http://diariodeumabeautyjunkie.blogspot.com/
She has great posts and reviews)

f) Wearing Make up…

Less is more is meant for this case, too:
A bit of lipgloss, a natural, soft liquid foundation 
clear mascara and concealer (optional) are enough for a natural look.
The skin colour must be even.
Also, the concealer ought to be slightly lighter 
In case you wish to conceal dark circles.

” I am a simple girl
I usually wear make up to enhance qualities 
and to camuflage small flaws and (mostly) traces of tireness”
LESS IS MORE…
” Finally, it is important to find happiness in simples things and inside of us
It starts there. We have to find it.
And let it blossom.
Then we can trully show our essence
Give out the best in us, for us and others
And fully live life “.

Regards.

Life´s Advice – Inner Strength

The only thing I know is this:

I am full of wounds and still standing on my feet.

— Nikos Kazantzakis

Dear readers,

How are you doing?

I want you to know…


You are stronger than you can ever imagine.
We often figure that out, 
When we do not have any other option than being strong.
I believe in all of you that 
Come across this page and read each word that I post
Or even if it is the first time you are reading me…
Know that I believe in you.

I look forward to hearing from you…
And am glad to be making this journey with you…
Despite of any wounds that you have, on your skin, flesh, soul…
Let time heal, let God heal, allow yourself to heal.

Give time, allow your thoughts to settle in
Think about the one or ones you love.
Think about your relatives
Or even your mother or father, the ones 

Who made your birth, your existence possible.

Reflect about One that makes you whole, 
Whole as a woman/man or as a human being.
You are loved , and you can make it through.
I believe in you!

World – Mental Illness POV

Good afternoon!

For this day, I thought about a diferent point of view
And approach on Mental Illness.

It is not easy to have mental illness, nor it is something we choose to have.
Mental Illness, such as chronic illness as well,
Tend to be labeled by people and society
And, still until this very day it is frequent to judge, and talk/write
Unacurate information and statements about these.

It is easy and rather quick to judge when you are not going through the situation.
Everyone’s path and life journey is different.
Each human being is diferent.
And that is what trully is wonderful in life, too!

How boring it would be if we thought the same way,
Dressed the same way and all?

We cannot fully know how someone’s path is until we walk through their shoes
As in, going through one’s similar condition or situation.

We feel diferently, 

We act diferently,

We demonstrate affection, love, kindness, in our own special way.

We suffer diferently and we react diferently through pain.

It is not easy to have mental illness, nor it is something we choose to have.
Sometimes, it just happens or it is triggered by events or people around us.
Often it is not “socially acceptable” to be sick.
As it is not “socially acceptable” anything that is either different or unknown.

People either despise, ignore or fear the unknown.
So I leave another question :
What if that unknown become known and even, familiar?
Would it have an impact or would you act the same way?

I had the first symptoms of my condition in 2007
But I was only diagnosed with depression three years later.
I researched, read because I wanted to know what was happening to me.

To seek knowledge is optional.
To seek help, is needed
Because your Health, your life is precious
And so are the ones around you.

Note: There were triggering events, yes, that I wrote about in the blog
Since 2010.

Nowadays I am not ashamed to say that I had depression
And/or that I have anxiety problems.
No one has to feel shame.
No diagnosis defines people.

People cannot allow a condition or illness to put a limit to their dreams.
Instead, that must be a reason to push forward
And redefine his/her own goals.

I am not depression.
It was a condition, that, as many others can and must be controlled.
It has not have a physical spot where it hurts,
But it is real pain…ache that has a reason.
That reason can be figured out imediately or it can take time.

Again, it takes time, yet I learned that
Instead of feeling sorry for what I went through
Instead of whining about what I do not have
Instead of feeling pity of my old self

I decided to spend that energy
On the Present. Because Present is a gift.
And thanking for what I have.
And dedicating to my former self.


— Carpe Diem,

Seize the day. 

It is valuable to find proper help and support.
Professional help is advised.
And follow your doctor’s instructions.

Our life is a blessing,
We are lucky to wake up each day.

Some, are not as lucky
And if we are alive,
Let’s live with quality and truly live
Not survive!

God bless you all!

Tips to Deal with Anxiety

Good evening dearest…

I usually write during the night or during the afternoon.
Then I either post at the moment or allow Blogger to do its magic.
There is this subject…that I felt unconfortable in the past to talk about.

It is night over here and I chose to write out what I was thinking about
It is a quite personal post.

Anxiety.
Again… Anxiety.

Okay, better this way, with smaller font.
I considered anxiety to be something that held me back for some years.
As a matter of fact, it gave me quite some headaches.

I must admit, I still haven’t fully tamed this
But I am starting to find ways to cope and deal with it.

NOTE : Anxiety does not have to be a monster!
In a normal situation, it is acceptable or «normal» to feel nervous and worried

(To feel alarmed/nervous/insecure is a mechanism of the human being
To be aware of risks, to be grounded and focused to his/her surroundings)

BUT when it affects and disturbs your life, whether socially or psychologically
It is time to react and seek help!

POV :
When I am anxious I tend to think too much and barely function.
With these wrongs… :

«What if…?» , «I should have done/said (usually added with «more») » , 
«I could have done» , «What will happen?»
«It was my fault» , «I was not good enough» , 
«I am not ready for this…» , «I cannot do» …and so on…

Over and over again…

Are few examples I can give out to you.
I found and sorted out some ways to deal with it
And other ways/tips to ease my mind.

When I get TOO anxious, my stomach aches
and I honestly feel like I want to cry.
Other times, eating and sleeping gets affected.
We don’t have to live like this!

So I rushed to seek help and advice…
Oh and found out some ways to deal with this on my own.

What I do…not in any particular order

1. Think about good moments.
Anyone who you deeply love or inspires you greatly.
Someone you held dearly to your heart.

2. Have a lucky charm.
I once went to a store and a black stone caught my attention.
Onix. So I bought it and ever since, I carry it along with me.
In my pocket and near me when I am going to sleep.

3. Light up a candle once in a while.
Stare at the flame, keep an eye on it.
Just sitting and connecting with your «self»
Or even, thanking for the day.

4. I have…conquered . I have…achieved .
I confess I am still slowly adapting to this way of thought
Due to the fact that I had these negative thoughts
And reversed thinking pattern for so many years
That it is hard (NOT IMPOSSIBLE) to change.
It will take time, but I believe! I am trying this !

So the tip on point number 4 is to,
At the end of the day to say or think to yourself :

TODAY , I have conquered… (fill in) . 

TODAY , I have achieved… (fill in).

It does not matter if it was a silly or small achievement.
What matters is that your mind gain focus on that type of thoughts
So that it may feel at peace whether it is at night, before going to bed
Or whenever you need so.

An example : 

TODAY , 
I have conquered my goal of making through the day and learning properly.

TODAY , 
I have achieved what I had planned : to write for this blog.

5. RESCUE Thought.
When I am really, really anxious and I have the chance
I usually go to my bed and just stay there.
And try to breathe. Slowly…

Then , (can be a solution in other cases and combined to 5) 
I think to myself over and over and over again
As many times as needed , this :

« IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT »
« IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT »
« IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT »
« IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT »
« IT IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT »

NOTE : 
Thoughts are very powerful and can have a strong influence in us.
We have to reverse them, in case they are harmful.

6. Balance and Organize.
I know that something either unknown
Or unexpected is more likely to cause anxiety.
Now and then you can learn to organize your thoughts
Or your projects. That will help you deal with insecurities.

You can organize at a) mind or b) by writing out.
It can be used once in a while as a guideline or resource.

If you know what you have to do or what you will say
(for presentations) you will feel slightly less nervous
By practicing too (you can try in front of a mirror, for instance)
Presentations will become something simple.
Achievement? Your confidence will boost!

7. Write out or Talk out
I used to write my heart out or talk out with someone when I felt anxious.
It helped too… However, now
I am trying by myself to find ways (mentioned above) to cope.

8. Letting it all out
Lastly, if I do feel like I want to cry, I do cry.
If I get nervous to that point, I will…
It is better to become aware of this
Than to let those emotions burst and get out of control.

9. Reading
Reading can prove to be relaxing.
Choose your favorites
Or maybe you can choose to read a diferent type of book
One that you usually don’t read.
Or you can pick Self Improvement or Guidance books.

This was my POV and Tips for the moment.
I shall add new tips from time to time
Feel free to add any suggestions or even contact us, if you would like.

Wishing you all best.

Relationships – Expectations

Good evening everyone ,

I usually since I started to post on Tuesdays and Fridays,
I wasn’t making posts in other days.
BUT today is a holiday here and I decided to make an exception.
For today (and somewhat related to the post “Treasure” on Life´s Advice)
I chose Expectations. There is more than meets the eye.
I am going to share a story with you, about my current therapy.

I go once per week at a local college of Psychology where we talk
And sometimes we have some exercises and there I gained more tools to deal with life.
I am always learning and open for changes. (Will tell more in other posts)

Therefore, the first step was to recognize a problem or a possible situation happening.
In my case, carrying high expectations had proven to be devastating.
So I told her. (The situation will be told below, I promise)

And it is, specially when one has such high expectations,
That anything the other people do isn’t enough.
It never seems enough.

So I thought about the issue itself and there may a reason for it.
Lack of self esteem or affection.
Personally, if we have low self esteem
People can help us, can try to heal those wounds
But we have to find love inside of us too.
And that can prove to be quite a chalenge.

SITUATION :
I arrived to college and I had high expectations
« I am going to feel fine after this, it is all that I want and I hope it doesn’t take much time »
My thoughts exactly. Then, more and more expectations were added.

I wanted so badly to feel refreshed and changed
For my loved one, for my family, for my friends
That I unconsciously overwhelmed everything with expectations.
Plus, neglected myself. I thought about nothing else.
And I was growing inpatient!

Outcome : 
Instead of draining my energy on thoughts as, for example :
«It has to be good» , «I have to feel okay» , «TODAY I have to tell x , y and z»

(They become warmful because in those cases
You are organizing things so much OR forcing something to happen
Even if it is only in your mind.
Even if it is with a good intention,
Things don’t always work out the way we want)

When I stopped carrying such expectations…I NOTICED!

And if at least you throw some of them away
You will feel the diference, I guarantee.

(Because those can and seriously warm your relationships 
And you can lead yourself to disapointment
Instead it is better to be surprised through out life!)

…I just thought of nothing and went there
As in « Appointment today , we’ll see how this goes »

My goal and the goal of the psychologist is for me to improve as a person.
However, there are ups and downs.
When we feel happy, unhappy, tired, annoyed, and so on…

I still want to feel fine and be the best I can be for the ones I love,
And I know I am going to reach what I have planned!
But I am not carrying the weight of the expectations with me.
I will let the appointments take their course and take one step at a time instead.

Blessings.